Home

I was supposed to start chemo right after returning from my BYU-Idaho conference on June 27th.  I had wanted to spend a couple of days in Salt Lake to see my sister and some friends, but cut my trip short as the anxiety to start chemo began to set in.  I even had some psycho-somatic symptoms, such as throwing up in the days the preceded the trip, or maybe that was just dehydration from the heat.  However, chemo ended up being postponed on account of an agonizing toothache which needed a root canal.  I was able to get the needed work done, and have 2 extra weeks to heal, which I think proved to be a blessing. 

Healing cost half the summer, but I started to feel better, at least well enough to get out and about by the weekend of the 4th of July.

                                               Our First date out post-surgery to "Soda and Swine."

                                                       Me and My Girls on the 4th

Ever the FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) queen, I hated missing half of the summer, but I did learn to enjoy the simple things happening in the walls of my home, such as watching American Girl movies with my girls, reading stories to them, and laughing at their jokes.

The 7 weeks post surgery at home were tough.  In the thick of the pain, at times I thought I would never feel better.  I sometimes thought of the song "Diamond Road" by Sheryl Crow, which is about not missing the sparkling moments even in the face of pain and hardship.

When the night falls, and you're stumbling, it's gonna take a little time, to make it to the other side

So don't miss the diamonds, along the way.

Every road has lead us here today

Life is what happens while you’re making plans.

All that you need is right here in your hand.

Even though I would usually much rather be out and about I learned that all that I needed was at home. I learned that it's persistent love on even on the most mundane days that makes a happy home.  My sister-in-law, Katie helped me to create this video for Carl's and my 12th anniversary which features Blue October's song, "Home." The pictures shown are from when the girls were smaller and most from this past year, of us creating happy memories simply within the walls of our home, even during my sick days. As the song says, "It's the little things that make a home."

Carl and I also love the lyrics, 

I feel like I'm gonna win
And I'm as proud as I've ever been
Cause I'm surrounded with some good friends
Yeah, good friends, good friends

Even though we are facing some dark times, when we are surrounded by good people, it pushes the fear and the darkness away.  We can also take refuge from the darkness by creating  a happy home.  Happiness is truly a choice.